Interdependence

Interdependence...

What does that actually mean? An interdependent relationship is where both people rely on each other. It's a kind of connection where both people can rely on each other but still be autonomous.

I have clients to come to me terribly afraid of losing their independence by being in a relationship with someone else.

But what they can't understand is that they can remain autonomous in a mutually agreeable relationship with someone who respects their autonomy but also offers them support.

The essential truth of interdependence is that it means that two people trust each other enough to support one another while retaining their own independence and autonomy.

This is the essential truth of a deep abiding marriage relationship. You have two people... Partners... People who love one another and would lay their lives down for each other without any expectation that the other person should be diminished in any way.

In a functional relationship each individual has a say and an independent voice... And because of the bond they share there is consensus.

And from that consensus comes something greater than the two parts.

The greatest metals are alloys... And what are alloys but the combination of two separate elements bound in fire which make the final product greater than either one of them could have been alone.

Committing to another person does not diminish you in a functional relationship it enhances all that is good and strong within you.

This Is Love... This is the actualization of what true relationship means...

I have individuals who come to me all alone sad and hurt from previous relationships... They are unwilling to consider the possibility of anything more.

But what they are doing in fact is shutting themselves off to the possibility of a life more amazing than they could experience otherwise.

To love and be loved by somebody who treats you as an independent party is an amazing and wonderful opportunity... But so many men and women have been damaged by Partners who tried to control, manipulate and manage them that they have no concept of what the meaning of what interdependence really is.

As individuals we can be complete... We can be happy, fulfilled... Fully actualized.

But when we enter into a interdependent relationship we ascend to an entirely different level... We have someone at our back... We have someone who understands respects and supports us in our darkest moments.

I choose interdependence... It is the highest form of autonomy.